The player with the thickest beard in the playoffs competed with the power of Spartan King Leonida. The team with the most advanced and beautiful arena stands taller on skates. I think the New York Islanders are a playoff team this season, not because they have coach Barry Trotz's defensive system, but because they will play 41 games in the UBS Arena. There are as many player-friendly facilities as Nassau Stadium with "Danger, Asbestos, Do Not Enter" signs.

The aesthetics of the hockey uniform is the most important. The New Jersey Devils didn't start to win the Stanley Cup until they no longer looked like they should be hanging next to the wreath on Douglas Fir. The Pittsburgh Penguins adopted their returning substitutes as their main jersey in the 2016-17 season and won the Stanley Cup twice in a row. The Buffalo Sabres restored their classic logo in 2010, and... well, every rule has its exceptions.

As declared in "Hamlet", "Clothes often show humanity." This is one of the motivations for the Arizona Coyotes to use the Kachina jersey as their main jersey starting this season. The Kachina logo is cool. Coyote...not so. I asked defensive player Jakob Chychrun if looking good means playing well in Arizona.

"They look better [uniform]. Maybe it can also bring better things to men," he said.

They are not the only NHL team that needs a unified update. We targeted six sweaters that were in urgent need of modification. Some people have lost their welcome. Some people have never really been welcomed.

But beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. As a counterbalance to our fashion reviews, we brought in the help of an expert: Chris Smith, the founder and editor of the hockey uniform news and analysis website Icethetics.com. (I hope you are already reading.)

Please join us because we guide our inner Miranda Priestly, roll up our lips and ask for a new autumn collection...

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